Rides for People who Hate Rides

by Darren Wittko

If theme park rides are not your idea of fun you can still enjoy much of Walt Disney World. There are plenty of performances throughout the parks to you perfectly happy. But if going on a few rides is inevitable for you, here's a list of mild rides in each of the four Theme Parks. For rides to qualify for this list, rides have to be slow moving, free from spinning, sudden movement, and large drops.

 
 

Magic Kingdom

Hall of Presidents

Get up close and personal to all of the Presidents of the United States. This sweeping stage show is a Disney classic. Part widescreen film, part Audio Animatronic show.


The Haunted Mansion

Hop on a Doom Buggy (a slow moving ride vehicle) to get in the "spirit" of things. Experience the stretching room, the séance room and hitchhiking ghosts in this not-so-scary Disney classic. 


IT'S A SMALL WORLD

Take the legendary boat ride around the globe on this musical tour of nations. Hundreds of international dolls sing and dance to the famous "it's a small world" medley. Fun for all ages. 


JUNGLE CRUISE

Travel on the rivers in a slow moving boat. See exotic animals, zany explorers and ancient ruins as your skipper leads you deep into the jungle.


LIBERTY SQUARE RIVERBOAT

Take a journey back in time aboard this genuine replica of an early American steam ship.


MICKEY'S PHILHARMAGIC

A 3-D animated film highlighting classic moments in Disney animated films. Fun for everyone. 


MONSTERS, INC. LAUGH FLOOR

An interactive show using animated characters with some audience participation. The show features your "Monster of Ceremonies," Mike Wazowski and his wild and crazy pals from the film, Monster's Inc. Your laughter will help power the city of Monstropolis.  


PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN

A boat ride attraction depicting scenes of a pirate's way of life. One small drop in the dark, but the attraction is otherwise slow moving. A must-see Disney classic.  


SWISS FAMILY TREEHOUSE

A walking tour the Swiss Family Robinson treehouse.  See how the family made a life for themselves after being tossed onto a deserted South Seas island.


TOMORROWLAND TRANSIT AUTHORITY PEOPLEMOVER

Board a slow-moving ride vehicle powered by linear induction electromagnets on a breezy tour of Tomorrowland. A Magic Kingdom favorite for all ages, often with no wait. 


UNDER THE SEA - JOURNEY OF THE LITTLE MERMAId

A slow-moving omnimover attraction where you join Ariel and her friends against a music backdrop of songs from The Little Mermaid. 


WALT DISNEY WORLD RAILROAD

Authentic steam-powered locomotives take a grand circle tour of Magic Kingdom Park with stops in Frontierland, Fantasyland, and Main Street U.S.A. 


WALT DISNEY'S CAROUSEL OF PROGRESS

Take a journey with an American family as it experiences technological changes throughout the twentieth century in this rotating theater.


Walt Disney's Enchanted Tiki Room

A theater-in-the-round attraction for all ages. Life-like animatronic birds entertain with music and song in this classic Walt Disney attraction. 


Epcot

Frozen Ever After

Frozen Ever After takes guests through the kingdom of Arendelle from the Disney animated film, "Frozen." A slow moving Norwegian boat takes you on a river through a frozen forest, past Troll Valley and up to Queen Elsa's palace. Boat picks up speed at times, travels backwards for a stretch, and descends down a short slope. Movements are all very mild and designed to be family-friendly attraction for all ages. 


Gran Fiesta Tour Starring the 3 Caballeros

Gran Fiesta Tour Starring the Three Caballeros is a musical animated boat voyage with Donald Duck and pals. The boat moves along with the gentle current of the water, no drops or sudden movements. 


Living with the Land

A gentle boat voyage through working greenhouses with futuristic agriculture methods on display. The boat moves along with the gentle current of the water. There are no drops sudden moves - a great ride for everyone. 


Spaceship Earth

A slow moving omnimover takes you into Epcot's icon attraction, Spaceship Earth. The attraction sets out to showcase the future of human communication technology but first shows us what we have already accomplished in highly detailed animatronic scenes. The ride vehicle slowly climbs and descends on steep slopes and will rotate slowly at times to face scenes of interest.


Disney's Hollywood Studios

Muppet*Vision 3D

Technically speaking this is not a ride at all, it's a 3D show but with such limited rides to choose from at Hollywood Studios, this was the closest thing. It's an old show, but funny and packed with gag humor for all ages. Seldom a wait to get in, FastPass is usually not necessary. 


Disney's Animal Kingdom Park

Kilimanjaro Safaris

The flagship attraction at Animal Kingdom. An open-sided truck takes you out the savannas to see live animals. Disney did a fantastic job creating Africa - to the point where you’ll forget you’re still in Central Florida. Ride vehicle does bounce around on the simulated dirt roads but pauses frequently to view the animals. 

 

GORILLA Falls EXPEDITION Trail

A walking trail packed with animals. Here you’ll encounter gorillas and meerkats, among many other interesting animals.

 

Maharajah Jungle Trek

The main attraction on this self-paced walking tour are the Bengal tigers. But there’s plenty of other animals to see along the way.

 

Wildlife Express Train

A slow moving train ride to Conservation Station. Upon arrival you can explore how Disney cares for the animals who reside at Animal Kingdom. You might even catch a few veterinarians at work.

 

Updated March, 2017